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The Drawbacks of Freely Given Trust

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The recent IMFW scandal Aquila Style wrote about (it's not often you hear the word scandal tossed around in Muslim circles) has definitely brought up the issue of trust and how much you should trust a stranger, an acquaintance, a supposed friend, etc.

In my own mind I tend not to trust people wholeheartedly no matter who they are. A close friend can always turn their back on you, a family member can let you down, your spouse can betray you and you yourself can be your own worst enemy at times. However, when it comes to business I think we owe it to ourselves to walk into situations with a little bit of cynicism and a healthy dose of doubt. Even something as simple and usually hassle free as online shopping needs to be looked at carefully before handing over your hard earned cash. A well renown and long established company is usually a safe bet, but a brand new business or one that has a history of not so good reviews really needs to be examined before parting with your dollars. I myself have had an experience with a Muslim clothing company who had sent me items to review on the blog which were great only to turn around and swindle actual customers out of their money, not to send a single thing and then proceed to simply disappear into the internet abyss with pockets full of stolen cash. 

It pays to check things out. A simple google search of the IMFW organiser's name (Shea Natrice Bates, so I've been told) will lead you to many first page results of her alleged past arrest mugshots. The crime in question? "Theft by taking". Although people should all be given the benefit of the doubt, sometimes you have to be smarter, put two and two together and cast some serious doubt on the issue at hand. If something doesn't look right, back away. If the smallest thing worries you about a person or a business then listen to your gut and keep your distance. If you know something and feel it will affect others involved then say something - that is another aspect to trust. It is not always about you trusting others but what are you doing yourself to ensure others can trust in you? 

Apparently other bloggers knew of her alleged criminal past where she had allegedly swindled others out of their money by promoting fake events and still they said nothing. Their reasons are their reasons, some legal, some not and while it is their prerogative to either say something or not it could have saved many Muslim women from purchasing event tickets, purchasing domestic and international plane tickets, hotel payments and the high cost and associated fees that vendors and designers had to pay to be a part of the now famously "scammed" event. I know a few of the designers that forked out a lot of personal money that they had to take away from their families in order to participate. It has been a huge financial and emotional blow to them and by the looks of it and what I have heard they may not even get their money back as according to police nothing can really be done about it. 

Trust is a huge issue and being Muslim doesn't make it any less important. We tend to think that because someone practices the same religion as us, wears a hijab, has a beard, has a good Islamic name, etc that they are all of a sudden one hundred percent trust worthy. We automatically assume that they fear God and therefore would be a good person. Not the case, my friends. Not the case. Would you hand your children over to a stranger merely because she is Muslim? Would you pass your personal banking details over to a random man simply because he attends your local mosque every week? No, you wouldn't, nor should you. Trust is something that is earned, not freely given on sight. If you don't know the person and they are asking something substantial of you then it pays to do your homework. Research them if needs be, ask around in regards to their reputation, etc. If they come out squeaky clean, great. If not... take it on board and make your decision from there. 

For me, this event didn't affect me in any way.  I was asked to promote this event and for a time I did as the person in question repeatedly asked many bloggers and Instagram peeps to share her event to their followings for free. Most legitimate businesses or events that require promotional services from bloggers, no matter what form it is in, will pay for that service in one way or another. I didn't feel it was right for a business to use me for free to promote their money making event. Any legitimate business knows that if you want to make money you have to spend money, particularly in advertising.

Other bloggers however paid out of pocket to fly internationally to attend the event, being told that they would later be compensated for flights, hotel costs and appearance fees. Now they are stuck with the payments and the stress of it. 

I feel incredibly sorry for all the women and families that have lost money, time and faith in the Muslim business community as a result of this disaster. Hopefully something can be resolved for their sake but many of us doubt that will actually happen. If anything can be taken away from this situation, it may just be that we need to be more wary of those whom we deal with and treat the issue of trust on whole with a little more distrust if only to safeguard ourselves in the future. You know... tie your camel first and all that. 

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